Statue: Why did he have to get so close with that chisel ? I look like a fucking women now . Oh Goddammit some fucking tourists .Maybe if I cross my legs noone will notice . Maybe move my arm over just a little .
Tourists: Hey honey ! Is this the Statue of David ? I always thought he was standing and had a large boner between his legs .
Statue: Oh fuck you , you fat ass bitch . God why couldn't I have been a painting